she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
