my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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