just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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