I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
