in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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