I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
