brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Those nachos came to me in a dream
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
