you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
