I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
