textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
