wat bout pragnant strippers??
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
