why didn't you poke me back
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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