Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
