I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
