Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
