It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Randomize
