I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
