i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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