You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
