you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
