Don't you send me to vm
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize