it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
