She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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