just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize