A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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