I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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