I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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