apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
