Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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