She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
