And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Just pee around me
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
