She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
