I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Randomize
