guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
