Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize