hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
