but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize