chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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