Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
