PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I have fence marks all over my body
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
