White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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