You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
