dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
