Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
