Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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