After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
please don't ironically join a cult
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