best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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