i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
