I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
