from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
