Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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