You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Randomize
