I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Are my feet made of real feet?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
