Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
