I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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