It's like God shit irony all over that family
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize