Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
