I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize