Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
