I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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