so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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