oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
