not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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