There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
