Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize
