oh god the rape fog is back!
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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