My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
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