Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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