Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
