You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
