Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Help. Why am I so naked?
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