420 ftw
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
