Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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