Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize