We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
